Ciao!

Sarcasm (in case you don't get it)

12.05.2003

Just when I thought my financial problems couldn't be solved easily, the internet comes to the rescue.

FROM: BARRISTER STEVEN BELLO ESQ. S. BELLO & CO ATTORNEYS/LEGAL PRACTITIONER NIGERIA.

DEAR FRIEND,

COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON. GRACE AND PEACE AND LOVE
FROM THIS PART OF THE ATLANTIC TO YOU. I HOPE MY
LETTER DOES NOT CAUSE YOU TOO MUCH EMBARRASSMENT. AS I
WRITE TO YOU IN GOOD FAITH.PLEASE EXCUSE MY
INTRUSION INTO YOUR PRIVATE LIFE.

I AM STEVEN BELLO, I REPRESENT MOHAMMED ABACHA, SON
OF THE LATE GEN.SANI ABACHA, WHO WAS THE FORMER
MILITARY HEAD OF STATE IN NIGERIA. HE DIED IN 1998.
SINCE HIS DEATH, THE FAMILY HAS BEEN LOSING A LOT OF
MONEY DUE TO VINDICTIVE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS WHO ARE
BENT ON DEALING WITH THE FAMILY.

BASED ON THIS THEREFORE, THE FAMILY HAS ASKED ME TO
SEEK FOR A FOREIGN PARTNER WHO CAN WORK WITH US AS TO
MOVE OUT THE TOTAL SUM OF US$75,000,000.00 (SEVENTY
FIVE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS), PRESENTLY IN
THEIR POSSESSION. THIS MONEY WAS OF COURSE, ACQUIRED
BY THE LATE PRESIDENT AND IS NOW KEPT SECRETLY BY THE
FAMILY.

THE SWISS GOVERNMENT HAS ALREADY FROZEN ALL THE
ACCOUNTS OF THE FAMILY IN SWITZERLAND, AND SOME OTHER
COUNTRIES WOULD SOON FOLLOW TO DO THE
SAME. THIS BID BY SOME GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS TO DEAL
WITH THIS FAMILY HAS MADE IT NECESSARY THAT WE SEEK
YOUR ASSISITANCE IN RECEIVING THIS MONEY AND IN
INVESTING IT ON BEHALF OF THE FAMILY.

THIS MUST BE A JOINT VENTURE TRANSACTION AND WE MUST
ALL WORK TOGETHER.SINCE THIS MONEY IS STILL CASH,
EXTRA SECURITY MEASURES HAVE BEEN TAKEN TO PROTECT IT
FROM THEFT OR SEIZURE, PENDING WHEN AGREEMENT IS
REACHED ON WHEN AND HOW TO MOVE IT INTO ANY OF YOUR
NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNTS. I HAVE PERSONALLY WORKED OUT
ALL MODALITIES FOR THE PEACEFUL CONCLUSION OF THIS
TRANSACTION.

THE TRANSACTION DEFINITELY WOULD BE HANDLED IN PHASES
AND THE FIRST PHASE WILL INVOLVE THE MOVING OF
US$25,000,000.00( TWENTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATES
DOLLARS).

MY CLIENTS ARE WILLING TO GIVE YOU A REASONABLE
PERCENTAGE OF THIS MONEY AS SOON AS THE TRANSACTION IS
CONCLUDED. I WILL, HOWEVER, BASED ON THE GROUNDS THAT
YOU ARE WILLING TO WORK WITH US AND ALSO ALL
CONTENTIOUS ISSUES DISCUSSED BEFORE THE COMMENCEMENT
OF THIS TRANSACTION. YOU MAY ALSO DISCUSS YOUR
PERCENTAGE BEFORE WE START TO WORK.

AS SOON AS I HEAR FROM YOU, I WILL GIVE YOU ALL
NECESSARY DETAILS AS TO HOW WE INTEND TO CARRY OUT THE
WHOLE TRANSACTION. PLEASE, DO NOT ENTERTAIN ANY FEARS,
AS ALL NECESSARY MODALITIES ARE IN PLACE, AND I ASSURE
YOU OF ALL SUCCESS AND SAFETY IN THIS TRANSACTION.

PLEASE, THIS TRANSACTION REQUIRES ABSOLUTE
CONFIDENTIALITY AND YOU WOULD BE EXPECTED TO TREAT IT
AS SUCH UNTIL THE FUNDS ARE MOVED OUT OF THIS
COUNTRY. PLEASE, YOU WILL ALSO IGNORE THIS LETTER AND
RESPECT OUR TRUST IN YOU BY NOT EXPOSING THIS
TRANSACTION, EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED.

I LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU.

THANK YOU.

TRULY YOURS,

BARRISTER STEVEN BELLO (ESQ)

Obviously, the above email is a hoax. Most unsolicited email is junk. Even if it warns you about a virus or tells you a sad story about a kid dying of cancer or an inspirational poem/verse. It's SPAM. You should delete it. Never respond to it. And certainly, don't forward it to your friends (don't even think of wasting my bandwidth).

Posted by Miguel at 12:36 PM

Comments

Posted by: sam at December 5, 2003 04:15 PM

Posted by: miguel at December 5, 2003 04:28 PM

Posted by: Caleb Larsen at December 8, 2003 11:48 AM