Sunday out & about
04.19.2004Surprised by a phone call from Alison (another fellow Fulbrighter) & invited out to a late lunch. Seems both of us are introverts, and really needed someone to talk to. Dating (in general, but specifically in La Paz) is difficult. Much advice given all around.
Personal revelation: I don't like crowds or lots of friends. I don't. I tend to move in a small circle of very close friends, usually one person who's my "best" friend who I spend most of my time w/. I don't really have that in Bolivia, so spending a whole day w/ someone just talking, getting & giving advice (especially about dating & exes & all that) was a nice reminder of home.
The conclusions we came to are: I'm quite in touch w/ my feminine side. No surprise there, we did have an entire conversation on exfoliants. But that my problem w/ dating's that I don't have "layers." See, I try to warn dates of that early on — what you see's what you get, there's nothing hidden or secret or tucked away. Apparently, women like layers. To peel off over time. Which explains my one-month dating average — I've no layers, I'm not "mysterious" or whatever. You read my blog & you quickly discover who I am. Or should I try to cultivate a "mysterious" persona? Anywho.
Lunch became an entire day out. We went to Hotel Europa for a spa — which in Bolivia doesn't mean facials & mud masks, just sauna stuff. My first time in a sauna in four years, and a much needed sweatbath. A few laps in the pool, a jar of lemonade, and one of the pleasantest conversations in a long time. Both of us grew up in working class, immigrant backgrounds, so interesting growing up experiences.
After sauna, off to a quick bite before Return to Cold Mountain. Good flick. Alison's take's that Jude Law's too hot to die; while I can think of worse ways to go than being kissed by Nicole Kidman. But I really enjoyed the Blue Ridge accents, which reminded me of some Coates family reunions — especially the Missouri (pronounced "Mehsurah") branch of the family.
The only bad moment was when I walked into a hook sticking out of a telephone pole, nearly shattering my glasses & poking my eye out. I finally went home & fell asleep listening to Cat Power.
Posted by Miguel at 02:25 PM
Comments
I think your being way to harsh on yourself, I think your a really amazing person and I have been reading your blog a bit for shool, your a pretty interesting character (I am taken). I would think a girl would be pretty lucky. Then again, I dont "know" you either, but from what I sense is that you really have this way of influencing people, including myself. And I think that is a unique quality to find in someone.
All girls are different, but i know we are all insecure in some way and we need to know that we are " different", " special," " beautiful," to our guy. Lets face it, women spend billions of dollars a year on make up, dieting, tanning... i think as much we spend on ourselves to look "nice", we want men to appreacite that. So shower a girl with complements and make it all about her at any price, women just need a lot of attention that's all( emotionaly and physcially). sorry Not an analysis person here, just giveing my opnion.
Posted by: just a surfer on research at April 19, 2004 04:08 PM
Well, um, thanks. Nice to be appreciated. I do hope I compliment girls, but maybe not enough. I'll certainly take that under advisement.
Posted by: miguel at April 19, 2004 04:48 PM
Well, if you'd watched Sex and the City you'd know what women want, hehe. Anywho. Cold Mountain, aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I LOVED the movie. Here's my take on it: http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=Nenad&tab=weblogs&uid=53855508. Have fun, Mr. Mysterious (aren't we, men, the same?).
Posted by: Nenad at April 20, 2004 12:06 AM
Miguel, I say we leave the layers to the ladies. If we culivated "onion" personalities, the world would be painfully complicated.
Besides, I believe that women would rather be the ones peeled away, if you get my meaning. Women, in my experience (and I'm sure there are many exceptions to what I've learned), prefer foremost to be understood by men, as opposed to figuring us out (we're simpler creatures by any standard). And I find the study of women far more interesting than careful self-study, although self-study is important.
When you really understand a woman, knowing her dislikes, likes, loves, hates, idiosyncracies, etc., you'll find that they're all very different, and with that realization you've found the keys to the city, my friend.
Posted by: tom at April 20, 2004 07:51 AM
It's always nice to hang out with somebody new... it can put everything into perspective.
Miguel Miguel ... walking into a pole .. to funny... but it's all good. Play the dorky angle, it's works for me. :)
Ok ,... you're right ... it's no angle ... I am a dork.
Posted by: Andres at April 20, 2004 03:43 PM
Oh Miguel that's so cute you're a metrosexual! I don't care if a guy has "layers" or whatever, so long as he's nice. The mysterious ones tend to be pains in the ass anyway and keep too much from loved ones.
And I hated "Cold Mountain!" I understand realism and accuracy in movies, but it was too bloody and gory for me. It seems since "Saving Private Ryan" all of these war movies are trying to match that movie in its gore level and message. They got the gore parts down, we get that, but the messages are all the same trite, banal things. "War is bad, why are we here, the enemy can be nice, etc. and more BS." If Hollywood wants to make a non-cliched war movie, write one from another point of view, i. e. the non-maile, non-combatant side.
Posted by: Kara at April 20, 2004 09:53 PM
Speaking of metrosexual, try the Fuali.com "Am I a Metrosexual?" quiz:
http://www.fuali.com/test.aspx?id=113
This is a riot.
Any dating advice will seem hackneyed after all this, but I've found that when you do things you love to do, people are attracted to the positive energy you generate around yourself.
Posted by: hugh at April 21, 2004 06:28 PM