Ciao!

To Democrats: adopt a Republican friend

11.08.2004

My latest Herald column is up. It suggests Democrats adopt a Republican friend, in order to better understand each other. Here's the online version; the unedited version's below (not being able to mention "pot" in a college paper is extremely ironic).

Now that the election's behind us, we can start building bridges across ideological lines. Because, after all, this is still your country. Or you can run away to Canada, never vote in another election for as long as you live, and make sure there's that many more Republican voters in the future. But I have another suggestion.

Adopt a Republican friend.

I think the Democratic Party should consider this as a grass-roots approach to figuring out what happened in 2004, as well as building bridges towards 2006 and 2008. The idea's simple: Ask Republicans to volunteer to join a list where they’re paired up with a Democratic "buddy" for the next two years (give or take). Now — and this is really important — be sure you don't use this list to just send them hate mail (because you know you want to).

Why? I'll tell you why.

Because if you don't know anyone who voted for Bush, then you probably have no idea why anyone would. And you need to. The very future of your party depends on it. Because if you don't know anyone who voted for Bush, you need to find some of these people and converse with them. That means both talking to and listening to (the listening to is the most important part).

You may be surprised at what you find. Not all Republicans are Bible thumpers. Or homophobes. Or rich. Or even white. They don't all have gun racks in the back of their pick-up trucks. They're not all "angry white males". They don't all listen to Toby Keith. Because Republicans are your neighbors, your coworkers, kids sitting next to you in English 101. You probably shop at the same Meijer, use the same brand of toothpaste, and drink the same brand of beer.

The goal of this exchange program wouldn't be to "convert" them to your beliefs. After all, you keep insisting you don't want them to convert you to their Christianity, right? Well. It goes both ways. You get pissed off when they try to convert you, and vice versa. So don't try to convert them. Just hang out with them.

Go get a beer and talk about football. Or invite them to your house for a BYOB party after the game. Go to the movies together. Or get a coffee and discuss how much you hate Britney Spears (because, let's face it, there’s an issue we can all get behind). Talk about your favorite musicians. You might be surprised you have similar tastes. Hey, even Joey Ramone was a Republican. Bet you didn't know that.

And then comes 2006.

See, now you have a Republican friend. Someone who you like, think is a nice guy, but you just disagree on a few things. You know she's not an idiot. So how do you discuss politics in a way that gets your friend to vote for your candidate? Now, suddenly, you're thinking about how to appeal to this person’s tastes, interests, hopes. Not just spouting off the soundbytes from millionaire Hollywood celebrities who think your friend’s a stupid redneck.

Now you can ask yourself: If I wear this button around to promote my views, how will it help convince my Republican friend? Or will it just make him mad and not want to listen to me? After all, political correctness (if you really want to believe in it) should extend both ways, right? If we can't stereotype Muslims, then we can't stereotype Christians. Even Kerry got nearly a quarter of the Evangelical vote.

And don't worry about them being so conservative they won't tolerate you. Their tolerance, especially on campus, just might surprise you. After all, they have to sit quietly while professors berate them, their families, and their values. They don't gather in candlelight vigils or angry shouting matches when liberal speakers come to campus to berate their religion, their musical tastes, or their political opinions. And they pay the same tuition rates you do. So they're even tolerant enough to let their money be used to fund speakers who don't like them. How many liberal students would sit still for that?

"But will they fit in with the rest of my friends?" you ask. Yep. They probably smoke about as much pot as you do (well, maybe not "as much" but you know what I mean). They may already have a gay friend. After all, nearly a quarter of the nation's homosexuals voted for Bush. Or they might be Indian, like Piyush Jindal, the new Republican senator representative from Louisiana. You could talk about your favorite curried lentil vegetarian recipes. The point is, Republicans are as diverse a group as your friends. Who knows? One of your friends might even be a closet Republican.

And there are other possible advantages. After all, a recent ABC survey on American sexuality had some interesting results: Republicans have better, more active sex lives. And some of you thought they didn't even like to dance!

So go out and make a Republican friend. Learn to talk to them without yelling. And next time you're looking for an "electable" candidate, you can look for one that your Republican friend might vote for. Because you'll discover that Republicans aren't the enemy; they're just your friends and neighbors.

Posted by Miguel at 10:51 AM

Comments

Posted by: Melli at November 8, 2004 02:19 PM

Posted by: Miguel at November 8, 2004 02:44 PM

Posted by: Kara at November 8, 2004 07:24 PM

Posted by: tom at November 8, 2004 08:51 PM

Posted by: Duane at November 9, 2004 12:20 PM